What does it mean to Love unconditionally? This month the New Moon is exact on July 4th at 4:00 am PST in Cancer, the feeler, the protector, the private warrior of the zodiac. Mars is now direct in fellow water sign Scorpio, Venus and Mercury are in Cancer, and our emotional body is vibrating, resonating and motivating our lives. We learn very young that we cannot do everything to please everyone all of the time, although sometimes as adults we forget that. The idea that we cannot do everything at once sometimes bleeds over into the idea that we cannot love everyone all at once. The first time a child realizes they are not loved by everyone is an important moment, it can cause a lifetime of traumatic response, sow the seeds of compassion, or both. More important still, but perhaps less memorable, is the first moment a person realizes they do not love everyone and everything. Discernment, choice, agency and empowerment spring from this moment, as does judgement, apathy and arrogance.
The New Moon in Cancer reminds us that even when we are challenged, frustrated, or suffering pain from relationships or situations, love can spring forth. Love is abundant, we create or deny it with our awareness. Part of the healing process after great suffering or hurtful behavior is transmuting specific love into a bigger feeling of compassion. We have to find our way back to the awareness that we are loved always. Each step of the Path, even the hard and horrible moments, offers an opportunity to deepen and expand our love with humanity and nature. Every situation offers understanding of an aspect of ourselves, life in general, or another person. Now that we know it exists, we can relate to that aspect with love and compassion.
The Queen Crab Cancer Moon comes with a host of watery allies to create the perfect supportive conditions for emotional release, stepping into Love, and committing to compassion. Maybe it’s just the position of Venus in my chart, but to me, in matters of love, it starts with Venus. If you’d like to know where your Venus is, an astrology birth chart reading will show you. Venus guides our motivation, desire, romantic interest, our ability to connect with authentic engagement. Venus in Cancer is a fresh water oyster and every moment of loving connection is a pearl. The trick is not to snatch for the pearl of connection; or cling to a love feeling with a crab claw vice grip; or snap shut into your shell and hide your authentic self at the first sign of vulnerability. To begin our way back to love we need to remind ourselves that we are safe. Head on reflection is a bit much right now. How about we scuttle up to the moment sideways so we don’t alarm each other, and stand together, shoulder to shoulder in solidarity, as the waves of emotion roll over us.
Mercury in Cancer begins the communication vibration, once we open our hearts to each other. Discussion flows out into the sea of possibilities and returns to practical concerns over and over, a little bit different each time; purifying, clarifying, refining our ideas. Mars in Scorpio aligns us with the spiral of currents beneath the tides, the ebb and flow of life calling us to act with Love. Love sometimes means stepping back for breathing room, and sometimes it means leaning into uncomfortable intimacy. Compassionate response flows naturally when we stand together to do what is best for All. Unconditional Love does not mean celebrating all behaviors and being happy all the time. It means accepting that uncomfortable exchanges are part of growth, working through our responses with kindness, and being compassionate with ourselves and others in the face of responses and situations we don’t understand. It’s ok not to know how you feel. It’s ok to feel different than you thought you would. It’s ok to feel bad. It’s ok to feel good. It’s ok to not know why. Suffering is natural. Joy is hard to define. Regardless of how we feel, we can choose Love at any moment.