This month the New Moon peaks in Pisces, exact at 5:54 pm PST on Tuesday March 8th (12:54 am March 9th GMT). This New Moon comes coupled with a Solar Eclipse, visible from SE Asia, NW Australia and Alaska. The Solar Eclipse does two things, it puts our ego on hold, and resets our sense of possibility. Eclipses come in pairs, one Solar, one Lunar. The Lunar Eclipse in this pairing is two weeks later with the Full Moon in Libra. This Solar Eclipse under the Pisces New Moon shifts our perspective of what it means to let go emotionally. We put our identity, our ideas of self, our presentation, our masks on the shelf. Here in this open space of allowing change, we can feel it all. What needs to melt so we can realign with our joy? What loss do we grieve that lays the groundwork for healing? What pain do we understand on a deeper level so we can grow past it and learn from it?
These stars wrenched open my heart. Ridden with anxiety, sleepless in my bed, I struggled against my fear of fear, my confusion and worry about imagined situations. I wondered whether I was still in the Flow, in alignment with this beautiful new Path that has brought me so much joy. I felt cut off from my Spiritual body, my deeper love and awareness of connection to All. I whiplashed myself through feeling the feelings and judging myself for feeling them. I craved sleep to put my mind to rest, hoping to feel better the next day, but could not shut the brain down.
I lay on my back, hands up on the pillow on either side of my head, struggling for comfort in my body, an unconscious gesture of surrender. Palms to the ceiling I relaxed my body over and over, noticing the tension as it crept back in, as my mind kept spinning. Coming back to the breath. For hours. Gradually I noticed my palms getting warm, warmer, hot. I felt energy bursting through the center of my hands, a column of white and blue intensity shooting straight through.
I spend a lot of time in meditation with Grandmother Spider. She’s one of the ancients, one of the first guides I met on my meditation journeys. The Original Weaver. The web maker, the connector, the bridge that catches sustenance. She’s so much more than Spider or Grandmother. She is as old as the human need for warmth and connection. Startled by the fresh wild power coursing through me I called to her for connection and she came.
“Grandmother Spider! What is happening to my hands?!”
“We are healing them.” She said. Calm as always. Just fact. No need for emotion in this space for her. She’s come to the crisis of faith of one of her priestesses. Happens, silly humans. Our little brains want to know everything, want to understand everything, but that is not possible. Even when we think we know something we understand only a piece of it, our personally experienced piece. The doorway out of the misery soaked lust for knowledge is Trust. So I trusted. I relaxed my heart. Feeling her near, let go of my fear. I focused on the power rushing through my palms and Trusted.
Then I got curious. I looked closer with my second sight, and I saw giant metal caps on all of my fingers. I’d seen them before. Several inches long, pointed and rough, once finely hewn, but beaten up by years of anxious or bored nail biting and jamming my fingers as I rush and force. One by one, Grandmother Spider unlocked them. As she unlocked them they crumbled away, revealing my true fingertips. “It’s time,” she said, “You are ready to use these.”
Claws. Golden Claws. They felt giant, but fit my hands perfectly, sharp, round; Claws made of Gold. They’re heavy. If I shift my awareness there I can feel them now. I looked at my hands, I looked up at her. Next to her stood an animal guide that I met once three years ago. Great Tiger Mother offered me healing when I was lost and unsure, and then left me to work it out for a while. She was setting me up to enter Mother phase, but I was still a wild Maiden with only glimpses of what Mother and Crone could mean for me.
I had so many questions. Why? Why now? Why were my fingers capped in the first place? I looked at my hands, and back up at them in awe, worry creeping back in. Golden ribbons of power began flowing from my new claws. Grandmother Spider reminded me of my training, years learning to weave threads of gold, healing energy of love. She taught me to see and generate those threads, move them, tie them. I used those slender threads to bind and separate; protect and heal; create space and fill the void. “That was practice'” she said, “The bands from these claws are much harder to break. Breaking golden threads takes effort, but breaking Tiger Bands is very difficult. Careful, they cut and bind very easily.”
I pulled the bands in a wide circle around my body, allowing them come slowly closer. I felt restricted, caged immediately. Great Tiger Mother showed me how to loosen them and send them, to fortify and protect, to connect, without clinging. Gently, gently. Little motions, big changes. I sent the bands into my own heart. I slashed at my doubt, ambition and anxiety with fury. Releasing the tension, practicing. This is medicine of the now, accepting the discomfort of the unknown.
I wanted to use this new tool to support my heart. First I wrapped it completely, there’s the binding again. It felt awful, tight, restricting, fear ridden. I built a golden bowl for my heart to rest in, but felt ego creeping in as the bowl resembled a pedestal, keeping me from compassion and humility. One solid ring of this thick ribbon of energy, right above the heart, is all I really needed. They had one more lesson: Melt. I opened my heart, focused on Love, and the gold ring above my heart dissolved into a fine shimmering coat of gentleness, amplifying the natural glow of my love for others, tempering the intensity of my experience and expression without losing the impact of emotional connection.
The golden sheen on my heart was just the first lesson in gentle strength. Forcing and striving are just means of struggle against discomfort. Ambition is a poor mans game. Acceptance and love is the currency of Trust. Change is inevitable, so we may as well choose it. Let’s chose Love and Compassion together.
Trust Your Heart.
Join us live this Monday, March 7th at 7pm for Living By the Moon Podcast.
Discussing The New Moon in Pisces:planting seeds and germination in the garden and in our hearts.
Free mini astrology readings on monthly power cycles, have your date, time and location of birth ready!
Live Call In Number: (516) 387-1874